When Saturdays equal cleaning…


As a single person, as soon as you neaten your room/ clean it (if it’s a mess – like mine is/ was), and change the sheets on your bed on a Saturday – you are pretty much setting the tone for your evening. Unknowingly – I have opened the gates for all sorts of debauch. for one of two outcomes:

  1. Someone else is going to see your room. I don’t like it when unexpected evening guest judge me, based on their “SURPRISE we are having a sleep over” tactics.
  2. You are going to get that drunk, that you just need to roll into bed, and not even think about the obstacles that come in the form of shoes, bags, or chairs.

Personally – I am working on the former. I’m sort of over the whole – “I’m a mess, can’t remember how I got home” vibe (although this seems to happen a lot). And after a recent pep talk I don’t think a sleep over for two could really hurt anyone.

Let’s be fair – when I talk about house guests – unless they are repeats, we are only performing the “hectic roll around” as my friend Louis so eloquently puts it (more on that at a later date.) For the sake of transparency – my 27 year old heart/ brain is not very good at going all in round one. Unless I am prepared to delve into some pretty dark emotional shit – I’m happy to just roll around hectically.

No one can get hurt after a hectic roll around – it’s fun, it’s awkward, you don’t talk about feelings. And frankly it’s something 17 year old’s do – 17 year old’s are not complex, I really just want to be on their level with regards to relationship status’- for now.

Lucy’s golden rule: Sex is not for strangers > HECTIC ROLL AROUNDS FOR ALL!


About LUCY

Femme of sass, sometimes.