VIMES ASK LUCY: We don’t live in Berlin & it’s killing our street cred.


My little Fischbrötchens – have you met Vimes? Of course you have, because you all pay attention and remember that one time I wrote about them. But just in case you have forgotten (as-if you would have missed it!) here are the headlines.


  1. Are from Cologne.
  2. Have names, which are Julian and Azhar.
  3. Play super cool electronic-pop type music.
  4. Are playing Dockville this year.
  5. Really are very good looking.

As they are headed to the festival by the Harbour in a little over a weeks time – I asked them if they had any burning questions that needed answering (they did!) – and here we are with a Celebrity Ask Lucy!

This year Nordic by Nature’s very own Steffi von Kannerman and Lucy vs. the Globe’s femme of sass (me, obviously) are also off to Dockville. We are partnering up – not just with each other – but with the 25hours Hotel. Getting you all the good bits from the 2 day long musical extravaganza in Hamburg, the town famed for Fischbrötchen, prostitutes and that one time the Beatles visited.

I’m hoping that now we (Vimes and I, obviously) have established a connection, we all might hang out on the Reeperbahn, make friends with the ladies of the night, braid each others hair and talk about our future together – because we definitely have one.

The boys wanted to know how to retain street-cred when you aren’t from Berlin, and how to tackle the haters.. So – without further ado. Meet Vimes. They are nice and pretty.

And that is quite enough for me.

Dear Lucy,
We are this super cool electronic pop music band; up to date with fancy visuals and all kinds of fanciness in general. We are supposed to be something hip and cool. Whenever we go abroad people suppose us to come from Berlin and whenever we admit that we actually live in Cologne it is like our fanciness just downgraded at about 68%.

As we want to keep our 100% hipster-appeal, what would be an appropriate answer to the question “You are from Berlin then. How is life there?”. Our experience has taught us that “No, we are from Cologne” is not really the answer to keep our street credibility up.

Everybody seemed to be super disappointed about our “Not-Berlinishness”. We find Cologne quite cool and moving up is not really an option. We used to shout at people very loud that we have a studio where we drink a lot of Club Mate, we collect records and can also DJ. It didn’t help – all our coolness was gone.

Lucy, how can we keep an image to be as cool as we would live in Berlin without actually living there?


Julian & Azhar

Dear Vimes (Julian/ Azhar),

OK – so you are from city that is not Berlin, and people now think you are less cool. Let’s start with this – people are idiots. And I’m not even going to apologise for that – people are actually dipshits.

The way I see your situation is a bit like the way I see myself with no tattoos. Yes tattoo’s are “cool” but everyone has one, so I feel like I’m cooler because I don’t. Every musician and their dog lives in Berlin, not coming from here gives you that edge. You guys are mysterious – YOU AREN’T FROM BERLIN!

The thing is – you need to own this. If you try and convince people of how cool you are because you DJ, are up to date with clever gifs, and have good haircuts – people will instantly think you are less cool, because you are trying to sell them how cool you are. Does this make sense?

Don’t be apologetic, or awkward (I know this is hard when you are originally of German decent) – you simply just need own Cologne, without fuss. Once upon a time Brooklyn wasn’t cool either – but then there was Biggy, and Alexa Chung and boom – it’s cool. Maybe you are like Cologne’s answer? Maybe you are going to change the face of how people see that city – but you won’t do it by sheepishly admitting you don’t live in Berlin, and amping yourself up with superficial badges of honor.

I mean – the other point on this is the whole “So how’s Berlin?” is sort of a really vague question – if you are getting down about Cologne and how it makes you feel (around others) – fake it til you make it. They didn’t ask “So how do you find living in Berlin?”… The question is “How’s Berlin?” – appropriate answers?

  1. It’s cool. I like it a lot.
  2. Oh you know – still alternative, and lots of Australians.
  3. Poor but sexy.

If they pursue this with more definitive questions – that is when you own Cologne – without apology.

Does this help you? People who feel the need to compete with cities, and make judgements because you aren’t from the cool one – are hands down – idiots. So let them judge you – and then drop the mic, and walk away.

Love Lucy





About LUCY

Femme of sass, sometimes.