Things that are confusing: Hipsters at the Gym


Ok – so there are a few reasons why I am not quite understanding hipsters at the gym. Firstly – I thought hipsters just didn’t really give a shit about conforming to society.. And to me – wanting to look like a babe in tip-top condition, is sort of conforming to society, right?

My second reasoning as to why gyms and hipsters MAKE NO SENSE – Aren’t hipsters supposed to be frail, and skinny looking? (I know that’s the way I like you). And isn’t the way in which you retain your shape by (doing any of these):

  1. being vegetarian
  2. being a pescatarian
  3. being a vegetarian, oh – but I do eat free range chicken and fish… (seriously?)
  4. eating half your lunch to save for dinner – poverty is what’s up
  5. biking all over the city – yelling at cars and shit, whilst you don’t wear a helmet (you idiot)
  6. living off whisky, and bar nuts

Going to the gym is supposed to do a few thing, but mainly for boys, it is to make you sort of muscley. I mean, that is the point, so you can bench press this, and lift up that – while making swift grunting noises – which makes everyone uncomfortable.

And on from that point, as far as I am concerned hipster don’t try at much.. Do they? I mean aren’t they supposed to be all not giving a shit? I feel like being a hipster is all about wearing clothes that look like you actually didn’t think about what you were putting on that morning (please refer to this post, AND this post), while someone dragged you through a bush backwards. So going to the gym, and trying at something – is sort of blowing my mind right now backwards..

I don’t even know what is more confusing – a hipster at the gym, or defining a hipster at the gym. Often I see hipsters at the gym, they wear

  1. a beanie,
  2. long cut off styled jeans
  3. holey tshirt with some obscure bands logo on the front

This makes no sense for the following reasons:

  1. a beanie – really? Are you even trying to exercise – is it cold in here. Let me rephrase – why are you here?
  2. the reason there are sports clothes is so that you don’t sweat up your normal clothes. what the fuck is wrong with you, cut offs.. no.
  3. the holey tshirt – I can let slide, I mean whatever – but the gross thing is, you are probably going to wear that to Pop’s that very evening to meet your mates and not talk to girls.

But THEN – there is this new form of person which I am now seeing come through the gym, and I wonder if perhaps hipsters are mixing it up. I saw a guy in a uni-tard, chest hair dangling out, with one of those twirly mustaches.. Now – I have seen this sort of behavior, but from old women – with the 80’s wedgy unitard > this is not hipster, this is recycling your clothes from the Farrah era (RIP). However – the guy I saw yesterday, was a young dapperish guy – making a real go of it at the spin class.

It definitely got me thinking, obviously – as I am writing this nonsense down, not entirely sure where it is going..

My conclusion to all of this, is that:

Hipsters are welcome at the gym, but note this:

VANS are not appropriate, and for the love of God – wear socks.


About LUCY

Femme of sass, sometimes.