I have funny friends. And one of my funny friends has coined the term the hectic roll around, as something that is perfectly fine among all the judgey dating rules, to lean on after a good first date (or 7th – if that is how you do things).
As someone that doesn’t really like to talk about what goes on behind closed doors, this is the perfect phrase. For example – if your friends know you went home with someone, and ask you the details – saying something coy along the lines of “oh yeah, we had a really nice time.” Leaves more questions than answer, there is not enough juicy info there – so people like to pry.
- What time did he leave?
- Did you get brunch?
- Was it fun?
- How was it? << inappropriate, FYI. always.
- When are you seeing each other next?
I actually don’t want to answer many/ any of those questions. Brunch – sure, I can talk about brunch, that’s a regular activity that people do. But the rest of it – is blush inducing, and I’m a massive blusher. So in an effort to nip this is in the bud – answering the question with “Oh – we had a hectic roll around” leaves everyone statisfied, as that feels like enough info, without being TMI.
The other great thing about the hectic roll around is that you don’t get all smooshy and lovey after the first one – because often it gets awkward, and really – it’s all pretty PG stuff. So everyone can walk away from this situation, wanting a round two – but not crying ones eyes out because you decide to part ways.
There is just something so complex about doing the deed with new people, that 27 year year old me wants to avoid it entirely until I’m sure I want to dive into some dark emotional shit, which I really don’t want to do. That said – Australian 23 year old me – was kind of a different story, but that could be because I was rolling around with ~23 year old Australian guys, who are not complex – and kind of “say as they see it” types.
Regardless of the locale, I firmly believe this is a step in the right direction, and that more should embrace the hectic roll around – even if only to ignite a movement, which I could say I started..
Let’s quietly praise American Jesus (Oprah) for some of the rules that I sort of follow, as it allows room for what we love to get among.