The German Tourist > getting among it.


So – you might think that an American tourist is a funny sight – I mean, what isn’t funny about a bum bag and a pair of pants/ shorts in one. But after spending a day in Hamburg touristing with a bunch of German tourists there are a few notes to be made.

  • The German tourist loves a clever waistband. Mostly on the femmes of the race. And when I say waistband, I don’t mean tighter at the waist – it is mostly an elastic function that cuts in at the hips and flares out over the bum. NOTES: this is not attractive. people who mostly sport this have fat tummies/ love handles, and you know by cutting in with elastic under your fat tummies/ love handles you are just highlighting your not so lovely lady lumps.
  • The gentlemen of the group if sporting a low man pony tail generally accompany this stylings with a bit of facial hair. And not stubble or a hipster man mustache – but wide goatie and a long thin low hanging pony ensemble. It’s awkward – and generally feels slightly sinister.
  • Army print never goes a stray – ever. And let’s be honest – I’m not sure this is a theme you want to highlight. MY recommendation would be to steer clear of the army print – not only because it’s gross, but do you really want people to think of Army/ war when they visit your country..?
  • Women LOVEEEE to cuff their boot cut/ semi wide leg jean. I don’t know what is worse, this – or men wearing bootcut jeans, fullstop.. it doesn’t make any sense and it just looks like a puffy mess. Either wear cropped pants – or wear jeans. It’s pretty simple.
  • Men and women alike prefer a fine, wrap around pair of sunnies > think Oakleys. And then think of professional cyclists. I can understand cyclists wearing this particular style of glasses as they don’t want bugs in their eyes at a fast speed. But leisurely walkers of Germany – this behavior is not┬átolerated.

Get it together – SOFORT!



About LUCY

Femme of sass, sometimes.