Lessons with Lucy #7 – How to Shotgun (and my list of victims)


Ok – so the other day we covered the art of shotgunning, briefly. So I thought that I might actually get into it a bit with you, so that perhaps you can understand and partake in the activity lovingly referred to as Shotgun.

How this works is pretty simple – you see someone you like, lust after, or just generally adore (can be for a many variety of reasons – intellect, looks, humor etc.) -once you have established that you would like to have your way with said individual, you shotgun them. Now – you need to shotgun with someone, which means that someone must bare witness to the fact that you shotgunned – or else it didn’t really happen. Much like that tree saying (If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? – Answer in this respect, no)

Now – I generally play this game with my mate Alex, and because we play together that means that most of my shotguns pertain to her. If I was to then play with anyone else (lets say Emma, because we just started playing together), I still couldn’t pick Alex’s shotguns – but my Emma could (because she is not playing shotgun with Alex) – Does this make sense?

HOWEVER – if Emma went on to pick one of my shotguns, that I have made with Alex – she couldn’t because that shotgun still stands, as Alex bore witness to it..

Yes – it can be confusing, but what good game isn’t, firstly. And secondly – when it is a game where the subject matter is of such serious content, I would expect the rules to be slightly confusing.

So I have list – and just so you guys are aware – this is it. Please keep it in mind – when you are next at a party with any of the below, and they want to jump your bones. Remember to be kind with rejection, and if at all possible – slip them my digits.

The List (I’m sure there are more – but this is all I can think of, off the top of my head..)

So, repeat after me “I know this thing between us feels real, but I’m sorry – Lucy has already shotgunned you.” — perf


About LUCY

Femme of sass, sometimes.