WE HAVE TOUCHED ON THE ROLL ROUND BEFORE, mostly of the “hectic” variety. I have realised, just now – while listening to music that enlists the urge to roll around, that there are many varieties of roll around. No longer are we forced to roll around hecticly, we have options. Hallelujah! read on.

TO ROLL AROUND, with feelingWhen you roll around with feeling you don’t care that you might have a double chin moment, or that from that angle your legs developed a dimply texture.

When you roll around with feeling there might be an angst’y soundtrack playing, in your head – because you don’t need music in the real life. It’s like the movies, all that awkward-sexy-almost-embarrassing business that doesn’t happen in the movies – is actually happening at that moment > BUT it doesn’t SEEM to be happening, at all (but it is).

This sort of roll around is generally with someone you really like, or have wanted to roll around with for AGES.

Song to go with “with feeling“:
Kate Bush – Running up that Hill (can’t you hear the 80’s passion? I’m all over it)

TO ROLL AROUND, awkwardly: Awkwardly rolling around is really saved for a few moments in life – or should be, unless you are really awkward, and then you probably can’t be helped. Generally this we save for moments of “passion” with mates > the sort of mates you shouldn’t be rolling around with, the ones who should have stayed friends. Now they are probably not your mate anymore.

The other moment you might find yourself in the awkward embrace of a roll around is on the one-off occasions. For some reason or another you are emotionally jaded – and think that a swift roll around will fix you/ it. Just quickly – it wont, what will happen is an awkward 20-40m of non-fun consensual rolling. And then awkward dot dot dots. Conversation, getting dressed, figuring out if you should get food, saying good bye. It’s all awkward.

Song to go with “awkward“:
En Vogue – Don’t Let Go (mostly awkward if it comes on the radio during the drive home)
R. Kelly – Bump n’ Grind (for obvious reasons)

TO ROLL AROUND, like a teenager: Everyone rolls around like a teenager; it’s messy, non-communicative, and rushed. Mostly you don’t know what the eff is going on, but you are into it > maybe because you haven’t done the roll around thing in a while, or maybe because most of your worldly roll’ing around experience spans back to being a messy teenager.

Whatever the reason, doing the “like a teenager” thing is kind of like the greatest shit on the planet earth. I mean I guess if I had a choice it wouldn’t be my first, however if that’s the way it happens, I’m not going to complain – I romantize that entire teenage era, so rolling around like I’m 17/18/19 again is kind of wild and hilarious at the same time.

Tips on this, it would never be with someone you weren’t into/ didn’t already have an established thing with. If it was with someone that was new/ a one time wonder – it would likely fall back into “awkward” and not at all hilarious.

Song to go with “like a teenager“:
Spice Girls – 2 become 1 (because it is actually hilarious, with the right person)

Hey – you. Now get rolling.


About LUCY

Femme of sass, sometimes.