Pocket Contenders, everyone has at least one.


Not 100% sure if this is a thing I made up, or something I heard and took a fancy to – but pocket contenders are a thing of the now. It’s kind of a nice way to tell someone/thing that you’re into it – without it all getting too intense.

As I am sort of emotionally retarded in so many ways – this term of endearment suits me. Not that I can’t be affectionate but doing so kind of makes my cheeks go pink which is frankly so embarassing, I mean it’s not even fair > as soon as I am 65% uncomfortable with the emotions, I will blush – even for the silliest things. And then on top of the blushing my stomach gets those roller coaster feelings- I mean it’s kind of nice, but not in a way that I would like to experience Jack Bauer 24.

So, as I said, pocket contenders suit me. I am kind of obsessed with 1980’s Tom Hanks – I love him now also – but 1980’s T.H was the best. With his bouffant hair, sneakers with skinny’ish jeans and athletic jumpers > he was the shit, thus making him the go-to pocket contender. If I met Tom Hanks today, I would probably want to tell him that I idolize him from the 80’s. But thats a bit weird “Hey mate – I fucking loved 1980’s you, to the point of obsession.”…No.

Instead you might want to think about the pocket contender approach. It can also give you quirky story to tell – which makes you endearing, AND interesting. Being interesting in this day and age is key. If you are pretty and boring – I’m sorry but there is very little help for you. As far as I am concerned you have a 2 month shelf life, then people realise that’s all there is to you. NOTE: ┬ábeing interesting is key.

If you go the pocket contender route – you can have a conversation that goes like: “Hey Tom Hanks, not to be nuts – but 1980’s you is one of my pocket contenders. Weird concept, got it. But you know, you are just one of those people that if I had pockets like Mary Poppins suitcase – I would keep you in there, on the reg. Don’t worry, other pocket contenders are a few good mates, a couple of my friends well behaved children, and some fun bands – it’s a hoot, you’ll love it.”

One of the rules I have with the pocket contender is that each person gets a plus one (at least) – as to make it less awkward, and more inclusive. I would imagine Tom Hanks would bring his wife, and maybe his beat boxing son. Isn’t that just the best.

Takes the creepy out of obsessions, by like 35%


About LUCY

Femme of sass, sometimes.