McSweeney: you've done it again


OMG this is so delicious. and wrong, but perhaps that is why it is so very delicious. You will find it in all its glory here – but just to give you a taste, here is the first 3 paragraphs of The Rejection of Anne Frank. I’m unsure I am allowed to paste it here, is it correct blog etiquette? Don’t know, but I guess it will just hang here until someone yells at me.

The Rejection of Anne Frank
Teddy Wayne and Mike Sacks
Dear Ms. Frank:

Thank you for your submission of your memoir to us, as delivered by your literary agent from a cardboard box unearthed in a dusty Amsterdam attic. Unfortunately, we receive so many Holocaust teenage diaries composed in European attics that it is impossible to accept each one. We are passing on your diary with regrets, but would like to offer various suggestions for revision.

First, though we live in a crass age of reality television exhibitionism and Facebook narcissism, a memoir from a 15-year-old girl is a bit much. Until some time has elapsed, it’s very difficult to gain perspective on those trying teenage years. More important, do a young girl’s problems really matter all that much in the grand scheme of things? Consider waiting a bit, perhaps after taking some creative nonfiction courses in college, before tackling this potentially sentimental material.

Open the action up! Readers love to go on a journey with the memoirist—whether it’s a divorcée’s spiritual quest in India to find herself or a journalist’s rollicking cross-country trip to discover the best hamburgers in each state. You’ve written about a young girl confined to an attic for two years. Be honest—which would you rather read? Correct: The United States of Hamburgers, now available wherever paperback are sold.

While we would not suggest you invent any details, if you have any history of drug use (hello, you are in Amsterdam!), this is the place to write about it.

Read more!

This entry was posted in Uncategorized by LUCY.

About LUCY

Femme of sass, sometimes.