Lucy vs. the Globe’s joint New Year’s Resolutions 2015


It’s the new year. And in the new year, we set new goals. So – we all sat down, and figured out a few of our top resolutions for 2015. I generally hate New Year resolutions, people fail – there is too much hype – rah rah rah. But this year WILL BE DIFFERENT. I am determined for 2015 to be 175% better than 2014. I have found a new lease on life since I figured out the honey badger was my spirit animal in September > and I’m channeling that into the year ahead.

Please note, we aren’t resolving to have a body like Jessica Alba nor run as fast Usain Bolt > these aren’t goals, they are dreams. Setting yourself up for failure is so 2012. Our list are a set of seemingly achievable year end goals, we are aiming for the high shelf in the kitchen, not the stars. Keep it real.

If an apple each day keeps the doctor away (I’m certain it doesn’t) then for sure floss will keep the dentist at bay (like what I did there?) The general theme of 2015 is to give more of a shit about you, and this is an easy, non-complicated, rather clinical place to start. When I was younger I had a babysitter who had entirely false teeth, this was funny because when she took them out she looked like Elmer Fudd and I was 5 years old (oh the thrills) – but actually, looking back at this at 30 I recognise an entire set of false teeth is ENTIRELY avoidable. FLOSS FLOSS FLOSS.

It rings negative  but really it’s a positive start to your 2015. We are getting rid of people that aren’t really bringing that much to the party. This is a metaphore, I’m not really culling friends who don’t turn up with flowers and a bottle of wine – what I am talking is getting rid of the people who do nothing for you on a substantial friendship level. No one should make time for humans who just don’t really give a fuck. Life is short – we want to spend it with people who give all the shits, in a good way !

From the outset, this year I’m considering what I want to achieve, where I want to go, and what I need to do to get there. Not to be a selfish bitch, but this is my year not yours so I’m thinking about me, and learning to say no is a really big part of that. Your mate Bron is saying no to that extra wine at 2AM on a Tuesday and I’m opting to say no to people, because people can be poisonous – and I no longer have time for living and breathing human asbestos (please see the point above).


We come from the land down under, where 6’C is freezing. So moving to Berlin where that’s just 75% of the years temperature is a bit of a shock to the physical system. Yes, we may have been here for 2+ years and should probably be used to it by now – but after 27+ years of life, these 2+ years  aren’t a whole lot. This year we are channelling everything healthy, we are setting goals which require constant work – Bron’s running a half marathon, Danée is focusing on eating all the right things and I’m…not drinking in January ! Baby steps.

As we get old and more experienced in life, we are realising that nonsense purchases for cheap thrills is not us. The motto here is: stop spending little on lots – but more on quality. Clothes, food, investing in life skills (learning to drive manual – Bron is looking at you); sleep; a more expensive can opener that actually fucking works is a small but also very good start, Bron.

Well this is an annual running theme. After ending each month for the last 5 months in the red, I think I have finally got my bank balance together and it’s going to stay that way. There is nothing unsexier than not being able to control your finances. Confusing double negatives? Being cool with your bank balance is hot as guys. Having money in a responsible fashion will make any decent humans heart race. A deluded sense of grandeur is the reason we have no money – recognise what you have, be cool with it and move on.

Not giving a fuck is so 2015. Don’t get caught up in all that poopy useless emotionally abusive nonsense. In 2014 we channelled Beyonce (which I will continue to do – in parallel). But now we’ve mastered that and are moving on to the honey badger, removing all the sensitive feels from day to day life, all the messy nonsense we often get caught up in and channelling our energy into what’s really important. If you only take one single thing away from this list, it should be channeling the honey badger. Or flossing, because teeth really are important.

2015 is about me/ me/ me. Not you. Unless you are you, and then it should be about you. I’m all about working toward independent goals, being rad and feeling totally cool about everything I do because I considered my options and made a really good (educated) decision. The fact is there is no-one else you to blame for your entirely beige existence but yourself, so – let’s stop being the super boring victim, and get on with it !

Even when it’s beaten you down, because words like: Schlesisches Tor, Friedrichshain, Streichholzschächtelchen, offensichtlich (I mean really, Germany – you’re taking the piss). You will learn this language. 2015-is-your-year. And if not? Lucy, it’s time to move the fuck home – enough is enough.

Cheers to a rad 2014, hallöchen 2015 :-*


About LUCY

Femme of sass, sometimes.