Ok – so this shouldn’t be this difficult. Seriously. There are a certain set of rules that should be followed daily – and then, voila – you are officially not a dickhead. However, I am finding on a day to day basis – people are just not playing by my very simple set of rules, see below:
- Don’t talk about the joy’s of social media in groups. This means – don’t tell me about the tweet up you attended, don’t explain the advantages of four square, lets not compare friends on Facebook.
- hiking boots are not okay as regular shoes. They are called hiking boots – because you are supposed to be hiking in them – not regular day wearing in them. stick with VANS, or some sick high tops – even toms are better than these.
- Also – and this is a no brainer, and still on the theme of footwear – don’t wear pointy leather numbers, which are any sort of animal product (more specifically – alligator, crocodile, snake etc.) this is so circa 2000 – move on, you look like a sleeze.
- Shoes (again, I’m sorry – but shoes are sort a big deal) no running shoes with jeans (actual running shoes, like your Asics or Adidas) – you look like Seinfield.
- Don’t wear sunglasses inside, on the train, or anywhere where there are electrical lights. Sunglasses are to shade you from the sun, not man made light.
- Don’t wear sunglasses at night – I don’t care if you were at a festival all day – you’ve had one too many elicit substances, and you forget they were on your face. This is not ok. This is not okay at bars, on the street waiting for a cab (after the bar), or at an after hours. You look like a fucking wanker, rather than Jay-Z. I know you think you look like Jay-Z, but you know what – that is not Beyonce on your arm, and you are a nobody. So take off the shades.
- Those 5 toes shoes – the wet suit ones. Don’t wear them. There are multiple reasons for this – but to break it down marginally, you look like a dick, they stink because you can’t wear socks with them, and lastly we are (obviously) not snorkeling on the Great Barrier Reef.
This list will likely expand – but off the top of my head, that is what I have. Pretty simple team.