HOW TO: be less German, break up with your femme and more.


So we had our very first Berlin Community Radio show – which we are aptly calling “Lucy vs. the Radio“. We laughed, we sobbed quietly between tracks and we managed to flummox our way through – for an entire hour… Talking about your problems. It’s a bloody miracle.

I have no clue if there will be a stream of this available – so for those that missed out, here are the questions/ my notes on how to answer/ the tracks we played throughout the hour of power.

Quick thanks to Erin for being such a sport and talking to me for 1hr. And another quick thanks to Henning from no fear of pop for making it down to stare at us in his best attempt of intimidation – while drinking all the Federweißer he could possibly stomach.

Next time I promise I’ll be better at pushing buttons.

PLAYLIST (in no particular order):

Cooly G – He Said I Said
Autre Ne Veut – Play by Play
Kyson – No Such Thing As Me
Future Brown – Wanna Party (feat. Tink)
Mieux – Greek (We Sink Remix)


Dear Lucy,

I have a mate, and they’re is on a bit of streak at the moment with the fellas – which is great, but one of guys is a close friend.

I’m really happy shits working out with my mate and all those single dudes, BUT how do I stop myself from being in a really weird friend position with the player mate 1, and semi used and abused mate 2..? DISCUSS.



  1. Don’t make it your business
  2. Your dude mate is a big boy, I’m assuming – unless you are young – but in that case you are all young and you need to learn from disaster. He needs to own his own emotional disaster.
  3. If you get involved on his side – your player mate will get upset for simply getting involved.
  4. If you get involved on her side – your semi used and abused mate will feel like you shouldn’t have been looking out for them, and stop interferring.
  5. Be Switzerland.

I happen to be German and I feel judged all the time by *some* of my non-German friends. What can I do to make them like me despite my cargo pants?



  1. Stop wearing cargo pants, they are a terrible idea. These are not handy:…/uploads/2012/09/Cargo-Pants.jpg
  2. I don’t think your non-German mates don’t like you.. I mean if they do, and it’s because of your German shades of light and grey, then they are idiots. I make fun of Germans almost 75% of the time, but that’s just how I show I care.
  3. Make fun of them back – people do that to me all the time because of my Australian’ness, we laugh – it’s nice.
  4. Don’t be friends with these people.

Hey Lucy,
I’ve been with my lady for over 2 years – but I’ve just realised recently I’m not invested in this situation anymore.

I hate confrontation, and I really like her – but breaking up is really the hardest thing to do.. I just don’t want to be with her anymore.

Help me out? How do I break up with my GF?



  1. Blegh – anyone that calls their girlfriend “my lady” is a tool. No offense, maybe you are a nice guy – but yuk, this makes me think of medival times, which makes me think of Game of Thrones – which makes me think about how much they all do it and how they are the great unwashed in very unhygenic furs – and it’s an ugly thought.
  2. Don’t break up with her via social media or in writing. This is terrible. Even if you are more eloquent with a pen – string a shitty sentence together.
  3. Don’t say it’s not you it’s me – this is so Friends (the television show) and as much as everyone is vibing that fashion era at the moment, this is not the emotionally correct way to handle this shit.
  4. Don’t give her a glimmer of hope – I’ll tell you what is a terrible idea, suggesting a break is a good idea. Make it clean, otherwise this could go on for a bit. And that is emotionally very boring for everyone.

Dear Lucy,
I have this really bossy friend – and sometimes I feel like other people think she is just walking all over me and I’m not in control of my situation.

I don’t like my friend walking all over me – but often wonder if it’s more effort to make a big deal about it, or if I should just shut up – and probably watch the friendship die a slow death.

This sounds a lot worse when I type it – fuck.

Love Violet.

  1. Take a time out – starving the relationship of friendship oxygen might help to make your friend realise they are being over the top.
  2. Tell them what they are doing is shit – in a semi nice way – but leaving no room for misinterpretation.
  3. Be mean back? This is probably a terrible idea.
  4. Stop being friends with them.



About LUCY

Femme of sass, sometimes.