I have officially been in the great nation that is Germany for over a month. Having just glanced through my iPhones notes section – it seems I have made enough assessments to judge the adopted motherland, with authority.
- People of my age group have no rights. Babies and the elderly rule the world here, and if you don’t like it – get out. The only time in which my age group, or those that would fall within the young adult/ late 20’s range have any say – is if they are with child or have had children – GERMANS ARE ALL ABOUT PROCREATION!
- German femmes love wearing a neat necklace over a collared shirt. The collared shirt needs to be done up all the way – much like how some of our mates in LA wear their collared shirts, but with a German vibe.
- A glass of wine cost 2,90€ – I’ll have 4, please.
- In general the people LOVE a clever sock with sandals, or a stocking stock with an open toe shoe. I don’t know where they read that it is/ was a good idea – but it causes me much the same angst as the toe shoes sweeping America.
- Nothing beats a piece of aged meat at breakfast.. Actually some varieties of fish with a creamy dressing might trump a cured meat, but in general it is a land of meat and bread.
- Bratwurst can be used in almost anything – curries, soups, sandwiches. You name it – feel free to add sausage to it. It would be un-German not to.
- Ice cream can and will be consumed at any hour of any day, in ANY weather condition. It’s just science – the Germans love the ice cream
- Both men and women alike love a skinny leg pant, with a baggy crotch. I can’t figure this fashion movement out just yet. But feel it’s likely an influence of both I Dream of Jeannie, and MC HAMMER. To me it looks like most have poop’ed their pants – but let’s touch base in 6-8 months to assess.
- German females gracing the streets (almost anywhere) can get behind an over sized scarf, in most climates. This I can get on board. It makes you look skinny by default and allows you to wear pretty beige (meaning boring) clothes and have epic neckwear – one word, thrifty living.
- This is a race of procreators. Every good German has a baby. And honestly – why wouldn’t you procreate when the kids turn out so god damn cute. From this point on – if Germans do nothing noteable in life – it can be said that they should win awards for their ability to pop out divine looking children.
- I have been told that the above phenomenon is due to the fact that Germans love a good roll around – at this stage I’m not really an authority. But perhaps it should be noted.