ASK LUCY: You’re cool, how do I find cool girls like you?


Ask Lucy !Dear Lucy,
I’ve always wondered why/ how you are single? It’s not that I think being single is bad – but you seem pretty cool, aren’t unattractive and like reasonably good music – so for me, this doesn’t make sense.

I think I would like to go on a date with you. However we don’t live in the same city so it would have to be with someone like you. I guess that makes my question: How would I go about finding a you?

Next time you find yourself in Paris, look me up.


Dear Max –
Somehow your compliments are 50% – Lucy – you are pretty cool, not unattractive and like reasonably good music. I guess it’s a bit weird professing love heart eyes to someone you don’t know – but I reckon you might need to work on your feelings a bit, by establishing more full ones. For example: Lucy – you are cool, pretty and like good music. << this is your starting line.

I can’t imagine finding femmes like me is that hard. I’ve been to Paris – the bitches be baben and dress like regular humans. I don’t remember the French having incredibly good taste in music – however I lived there when I was quite young and didn’t have much of a taste in music myself – so let’s for argument sake say femmes exist in Paris who are:

  1. Cool
  2. Pretty
  3. Like good music

Your question is how you find these femmes. Here are my global rules for recognising cool femmes. Apply them to your city.

Cool girls go to cool concerts – You wanna date a girl who likes good music? Go to good concerts. If you look for femmes when you are out listening to techno on a Saturday (Berlin specific) and you don’t like techno – you probably aren’t going to find your cool music loving lady. Get in the know with what’s on around your city – and buy a handful of tickets. At the very least – you will see some nice music.

Cool girls don’t mind strangers starting conversations (in bars/ social areas) – Femmes who get upset by random conversation in bar etc. have a stick up their arse. You don’t want to date someone with a stick up their arse – they will be inherently difficult, and probably moody. Moody is so unattractive.

I’m not suggesting you go up to all pretty girls in bars and just chat to test the waters, but simple conversations while waiting to order a drink is a good starting point. If they give you weird eyes and a face like “why the fuck are you talking to me?” – back off and take a mental note not to approach said femme again.

Cool girls travel – Educated femmes are great – but traveled femmes are better. Life is one big fucking lesson, and if you only got to learning from University and work then you don’t really know anything. Not to say you should only be with ladies who have been around the world (twice), but it should be on your radar.

If they’ve solely moved traveled within Western Europe – I would probably rule them out. Europe is a really easy place to navigate a lot of – if they haven’t, they’re probably going to have a very narrow view of the world, and at a minimum no sense of adventure. You want adventure.

Cool girls have opinions – Ugh – BORING PEOPLE AGREE. I don’t think people should disagree all the time, or argue. But just agreeing is so vanilla. You want someone who thinks, forms an opinion and talks with you about it. Otherwise you are going to have a lot of conversations that are like:

YOU: I think cats stink

This is boring – are you bored? I am. Don’t be scared of girls with a voice – it’s 2013, we should all be talking.

Cool girls want to eat bread – Bread is really just an example. Our mate Bron doesn’t eat bread because she can’t – not for reasons of want. Bron is a cool femme.

You don’t want to be with girls who are so fussy about food that they don’t enjoy eating. If you find yourself with someone who can’t eat this or that or doesn’t like… – shit’s going to become exhausting. Someones diet/ views on their own diet is a really simple way to tell how “easy” this person is. If they have all sorts of food rules (by choice) – femme is totally high maintenance. If you like a challenge, perhaps this one doesn’t apply.

I feel like this is a good starting point. And if all this fails? I’ll be in Paris some time in November – I’m always up for a wine.

Love Lucy

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About LUCY

Femme of sass, sometimes.