I have been with a boyfriend from 2008. Since 2 months we have broken up.
I am ready to meet people. My problem is I have no style for this. I stopped trying for 4+ years.
First dates are hard. Do I wear high heels? – but no one wears high heels in Berlin. Do I wear lipstick? – but I feel like you said that boys don’t like kissing girls with lipstick.
See my problem? Have you any good tips for me?
Ah yes, getting back on the wagon. Regaining the mojo. Player two has re-entered the game. It is a tricky one, faced by pretty much everyone our age at some point, one of the threads in the rich tapestry that is the Quarter Life Crisis.
It’s good that you’re ready to stare down the barrel of the Berlin dating scene, but you haven’t been too clear on what you want to achieve. Do you want a new boyfriend? Do you aspire to eventually push one of those tiny wheeled bench/table combos that can accommodate eight Berlin toddlers? Essentially, are you long term interested in becoming a P.Berg yummy mummy, paired up with a man who, if you squint hard enough, could pass for Apparat? If so, good luck, I don’t really know how to help you there. But it’s nice to have dreams.
However, if you’ve stumbled blinking into the blinding light of single life in Berlin and realised that, holy shit, almost nobody here is in a relationship, congratulations.
Lets address the points you directed at Lucy. Heels, no. Not seen a girl in heels since I moved here over a year ago and to be honest I kind of like that. Don’t rock the boat. Lipstick though? Go for it. You see, there’s something I like to call the HOLYSHIT look, spotted mostly in Berghain but not exclusive to it. All black, exposed mid-riff, red lipstick, nose ring…I don’t want to live in a world that doesn’t deem that attractive. Incidentally, if I just described your wardrobe, holler at cha boi.
Other than that, go out often and mix it up. Try every club at the top of the RA event listings over a series of weeks, go to those free bar Berlin Fashion Week gigs, tan the booze and look for the other people there who laugh at the crowd as well. Sleep with everyone bar your boss and flatmates, no matter how ill advised it might be in the long run. I’m fairly confident that 90% of people in Berlin are here because they are running from responsibility until their mid-thirties. Don’t go against the tide, join in, embrace the Peter Pan complex. Enjoy.
Footnote: My own personal life is a laughable omni-shambles, so feel free to take everything above with a pinch of salt.
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