ASK LUCY: Ugh – winter = cellulite.. HELP ME.

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Ask Lucy !Dear Lucy –
This winter I got fat, and that needs to go away.

Any tips, tricks or other – would be much appreciated.

Thanks,

Kate.

Hey Kate,
Feeling fat is the story of my life. I’m not sure I really am fat – but before I moved to Germany I was much bigger, so I can totally feel your pain on this. Things that are tried and tested for me? As always – listed below.

Make your own food – This may seem somewhat daft to say, but when you make your own food you are totally aware of what is going into it. Nothing is hidden, so buy the low fat cookbook and don’t go rogue from the instructions.

Portion control – I get it, in winter you want to be warm and full and just fucking cosy. NO. The reason I put on so much weight in the US is:

  1. the hidden sugar in foods
  2. portion control

Sometimes you can’t manage the hidden sugars and all that – but you are in absolute control of the size of your meal. Sometimes I find I need to take the meal – and then halve it. When I’m super hungry, I will literally make the biggest meal and eat it. I don’t need to. Make the big meal – but consciously put half of it in the fridge for lunch the next day. This will save you the effort of having to deal with lunch at work, and it will also save you some coin – winning.

Buy a bike – make bike riding a part of your commute, or walking – I mean that’s cool too. But just get rid of public transport. It’s February, it’s warming up – you can now function outside. The more unthinking exercise you do – the less organised exercise you have to do. And organise exercise is the worst.

Break up with your boyfriend/ girlfriend – this is actually a fucking miracle worker. You obviously shouldn’t do this if everything is peachy and you totally vibe each other. But some emotional hardship does wonders for your appetite, or lack there-of.

Go to spin class – OK, here are the facts.

  1. Spin class goes for 50m to an 1h; 15m of that is spent warming up and tuning your bike. So – you are working for approx 35-40m – this is doable
  2. You can burn up to 1000 calories per spin class.
  3. Generally spin instructors have ideal taste in pop hits. It’s like going to a gay mans disco, at 7A or 6P respectively.
  4. The bike stays still – so coordination/ balance is not a thing. Unlike Zumba, which is next level fucked up.
  5. You will have mad endorphins after this.

Eat bircher muesli – So when I first moved to Germany, I would put museli (not toasted, like the powdery museli) in a BIG jar, add some water, add some yoghurt, and a lot of fruit, seal it – and pop it in my hand bag. By 11 – the museli would be like Bircher museli. By 11 – I would be hungry. The thing about museli is – you can have small amounts over the course of a day and it keeps you full because it’s slow releasing. It’s not like a sandwich which goes soggy, because Bircher is meant to be soggy – and it actually gets better, the longer it is left to soak up the water/ milk/ yoghurt.

Team exercise – Something like bootcamp is good. What happens here is: you go and you make friends. So when you have those mornings where you are like “Ughghghghgh this can get farrrrrrked.” You still get out of bed because, the fact, is if you didn’t you would be letting all the others at {insert team activity here} down. Perhaps you are a selfish git, and this wouldn’t happen to you – but I feel like an arsehole if I skip class, just because. And you should too.

Find someone who wants skinny, just as much as you – this person will go on walks with you, they will keep you honest in your quest to be legs 11. You will lose motivation, you need this person – and to be honest, they probably need you.

Go forward – get baben. But, please remember when to stop. Really skinny is really gross.

Love Lucy

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About LUCY

Femme of sass, sometimes.