These days I see you are a bit of a #Fashun blogger, which got me thinking…
What should I be wearing this summer to impress the femmes.
I’m really pleased that you are recognizing my #fashun blogger status with this question. Not that I have enough outfits to give you more than one #fromwhereistandpost on Instagram – but I like to think it’s not quantity but quality… right?
Anyway – FASHUN. This is not a hard thing, especially if you are a guy. I mean – maybe it is if you want to be like these Dandy Diary fellas and then it’s like totally fucking complicated because – are kilts in? Should I be wearing a bandana….around my ankle? Slides, so hot right now for the femmes – but does it translate to dudes wear? I don’t know this. Wanna be avant-garde – this is not the right outlet. But if you are just a regular guy, that doesn’t want to look like a washed up sports star at the beach this summer – here are a few of my tips.
I’ll tell you what not to wear? Fedoras. These are not cool. These haven’t been cool for ages. But just in case you thought, “hey, let’s wear hats this summer. I know, I will get a fedora!” Don’t. You wanna wear a hat, wear a baseball cap. If you are really feeling it, pop it backwards. Actually – this backwards thing, you can only do that if you have a round head. I don’t have such a round head – I can’t wear a cap backwards.
Take aways? Say no to Fedoras. Only wear a cap backwards if you fill it out.
Every good boy needs a party shirt. Don’t be fooled by the link I’ve provided, short sleeved, linen feeling, light, tropical print shirts are what’s up. Really. They are easy, often show a slightly softer side and I’ll tell you what they are not? Neon colours. Listen-now. Neon colours are not in. I will not be saddling up to you and saying “cool shirt” if you are wearing hyper coloured clothing at the beach bar. I will be if you are wearing some version of a party shirt, chino type shorts/ pants slightly cuffed.
The take away from this one? Say No to neon. Don’t do heavy coloured party shirts; they need to be light and breezy.
When all things are falling apart and fashun is causing you a headache – run for the basics. A nice, well made, soft to touch simple coloured tshirt is difficult to fault. It’s classically perfect. Don’t wear shirts with a big disco print on the front, so tight that the seams are somehow straining. Comfortable fit white/ black/ grey tshirts are perfect. OR you could go slightly retro and find an old “band print” tshirt – but this is risky. And if you are asking for clothing advise, I don’t think you have it in your to select the right one.
From this we take away, what? Keep it simple stupid and the fit casual. Say no to “disco prints” (ie. graphics)
Wear them. If they are long, be slutty – show a bit of ankle. Chinos are the one pant in the world that make boys looks universally nice. It’s probably super vanilla of me to champion the chino – because they are a pretty vanilla pant. But, in summer, sometimes you have to wear clothes for an occasion – welcome the Chino. I think it’s particularly cool to wear some chino’esque shorts with a shirt and call that a fancy dinner. Jeans are warm, and everything gets uncomfortable. This is how one should not be in summer. You should be as easy and breezy as a cover girl.
Take aways? Roll a chino pant. Say yes to comfort and no to jeans.
For me, I’m all about Vans on dudes for summer. I wasn’t until the weekend when I saw a pair in a window and I thought – Vans on dudes. The thing about vans is that there are so many fucking styles it gets a bit like when you go through duty free and smell all the perfumes. All of a sudden they all smell the same and you end up buying one that makes you smell like Lady Frau. If I would point out any ONE shoe – it’s going to be the Era 59 pair. And then I will let you go from there.
What are we taking away here? Vans are cool, Era 59 are the preference.
The thing is, you aren’t going to be #fashun, nobody is going to ask you who your influences are and what drove you to such avant-garde stylings (although, if they do – it was me). But what will happen: You won’t scare off the femmes. Being too #fashun is intimidating. If you intimidate the femmes by your daring print clashes, and gender reversal garb – they probably aren’t going to want to suck face with you. And what’s summer – if not someone to suck face with?
Got a question that needs answering? Just send an email to: email@example.com