ASK LUCY: Social media savvy ex-boyfriends are the worst, HELP !

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Dear Lucy,

My boyfriend and I broke up about 6 months ago – cool, fine, I’m ok with it. What I’m not ok with, is having to still see social things.

I really don’t want to return to the me and him scenario – but the constant Internet reminder he is still alive is fucking boring.

How do I navigate?

Georgia

Hey Georgia,

Internet savvy boyfriends are the worst. Granted it can be the most fun when you are together, because you are loved on all mediums – but then it ends and that’s just one more lonely place in the sad sad heartbroken world.  To be fair, I’m not really old enough to remember what it’s like to not be able to stalk people online. I think maybe in high school we didn’t do this, but I didn’t really have any dudes who were stalk-worthy during high school.. So there is that, also.

66% of the guys I liked in the last 3 years have had a pretty strong Internet presence. And from my view, it’s really made the moving on process long, boring and exhausting. TV/ humans like Jennifer Lawerence have pushed upon us that we need to be cool with people, and carefree, and total honey badgers when it comes to girl crazy – and the Internet can make this the most impossible reality in the world.

As a result of this, I have become (what I like to call) a Selfish Social Media User. From my end there are two types of Social Media/ Internet people:

  1. The Immersed Social Media User
  2. The Selfish Social Media User

The Immersed Social Media User really looks at the Internet, they check peoples profiles, follow online threads, jump from link to link on websites. They are curious and involved – and often silent/ lurky.

The Selfish Social Media User responds. They look at their notifications and interact with them. They don’t go looking for things to be interested in, they are interested in their own stuff and then they shut off.

Be the Selfish Social Media User, it’s the only way to survive. As much as it’s a fun idea to check old mates profile, look at events they might be going to, spy on threads they are participating in or generally sit on their Instagram account – it’s psychological thriller. The Internet then becomes like a drug, you have to get your fix – looking at their stuff becomes a habit, and habits like this are the hardest to break once set in motion.

Stay friends with them on Facebook, but make sure you unfollow their updates. Stay following them on Twitter and Instagram, but don’t look at your newsfeed so much. After about 2-3 weeks of not seeing their stuff, you will realise how ridiculous this question was in the first place (no offence) and actually not give a shit about them, or their poopy life on the Internet.

If that fails, just unfriend/ unfollow/ delete. I mean – do you really want to be their mate? Does the friendship really have legs? Probably not.

Love Lucy

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About LUCY

Femme of sass, sometimes.