ASK LUCY: I’m single & cartoons on the Internet are making me depressed


Dear Lucy –
I was just looking at the Internet and I found this image:


That’s me. That’s the thought I have every day.

  1. How am I relating so horribly to a cartoon?
  2. What happens if I did meet my true love, and told them to fuck off? Will I be single forever?

Winter is a hard time, and my brain thinks too much.


Hey Claire –
Don’t worry, I relate to that graphic also, and then I release: you’re an idiot. I think every single femme out there has scary thoughts like this – so you aren’t really alone, that’s why this cartoon is so fun, in a rather tragic way.

I think the thing about “true love” is that it’s made up by Disney and Hallmark and older women who lived in a simpler time when things weren’t really about “true love” but more about “how many cows does that family have, and is this a good trade?” Thankfully you and I live in a more modern age where it’s about ones choice, and who they want to commit themselves to for as long as they can withstand.

This makes it a little complicated, because what happens when you don’t know? What happens if you meet someone better through some food sharing app? What happens if you are aimlessly staring at Instagram and BOOM, who’s that person? We are doing the same thing all the time. Maybe I’ll send them a private message… 6 months later, you are these people.

All our modern day problems surrounding love and all that rubbish really come down to the “maybe there is something better around the next corner” mentality, which gives us this fear of missing out, which then leads us to this cartoon somehow. But that’s ok. Because I don’t think there is ONE person for ONE person. There are fucking BILLIONS of people in this world, if there is only one of them that matches me – then we are in trouble. Well “we” aren’t really in trouble – more I am, because I’m destined for a life of 10 cats in a 2 room apartment and I don’t even like cats.

Yes things can be a bit stressy when everyone else feels like you should be paired up. Yes you may have met one of the men of your dreams and then told them to fuck off. But it’s ok:

  1. Being single is good. Living a little selfishly is good. Me time is rad.
  2. There are billions of people in the world –  so by default there are tons of “men of your dreams”

In short: You may have told one of the men of your dreams to fuck off between cocktails or mouthfuls of late night döner – but that’s O.K. Give your brain a rest – chill out, bake some banana bread, eat the whole loaf and watch some Adventure Time (or whatever idiot show you are into) – right now, you don’t have to share or compromise and that can be awesome too.

Love Lucy

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About LUCY

Femme of sass, sometimes.