ASK LUCY: I read your blog, let’s hang out?

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Dear Lucy,

My question is….:

Is it freaky that I feel like going out with you, when I´m reading your blog? Even though I´m reading that your not really into that…

Love your mate from Denmark.

Hey mate from Denmark,

When I first got your email I was confused. Not because you don’t make sense – but because I thought maybe you felt like we were going out (already) from reading my blog, in a semi negative way. You know like a tired old GF way. And I was like – “Hey – fuck you!” But then I sort of realised this wasn’t what you were saying at all, and it was that you actually thought I might be fun to hang out with on the reg. And that’s pretty cool.

You know – it’s not freaky. I mean, IF you turned up in Berlin, somehow found where I lived and was all “hey lucy..” I would be a little bit concerned. HOWEVER – I’m always happy to meet people, as I think it really is one of the highlight of life. So it might be a bit weird for like 10 minutes, but I’m an excellent talker – and I’m sure I’d get over it. The thing is – I’m not even that exciting.. I actually think I’m kind of annoying.

 

When I get all weird and stalker’ish with Queen Bey, I start listing out the things that MUST be wrong with her.. Here are my top 5 reasons why you should probably reconsider thinking I’m an ace human.

  1. I talk, a lot. People that talk a lot can get really tiring because then you are constantly engaged in a conversation. And it’s like – shut the fuck up. The positives to this are: I’m good at parties and I’m really suitable for people who don’t talk much – because I can carry both your AND my conversations without much issue. 
  2. I don’t like rice. This is a staple food. Try going out to dinner with me if we need to eat “Asian” in Berlin. I call it “Asian” because you get Sushi and Pho in the same restaurant… It makes eating things a bit tricky. That being said – I have started to force feed myself rice, mostly because it’s cheap and I find I eat less food  – this is 101 of trying to be skinny.
  3. I’m an observer. I will constantly point out why people are weird/ amazing/ ridiculous. For the free spirits out there – this is something that is really frowned upon. I will put others in a box, they will be stereotyped, and I will laugh (with them, sort of). It’s not done with mean intentions – I just notice heaps and talk lots (see point 1.)
  4. Australiana? I’m all over it. To be honest, I haven’t grown up saying mate, g’day or struth. But for some reason, now, every second word is mate. I think it’s because living in the EU people have a hard time distinguishing whether I’m American. And no offense America – people just don’t like you (I love you). So in an effort to highlight my Australian’ness (everyone seems to love an Australian) I get around the Australian vernacular like it’s nobodies nobody’s business.
  5. I don’t really like techno. This actually might not be strictly true anymore, as it seems to be growing on me – much like rice. But I’m not 100% keen on deep funky beats at 4 in the morning. If you find me out at 4 in the morning to deep funky beats, it’s likely my night has escalated – and shit’s probably about to get really weird. The positives? If you don’t like techno either, I always have +1’s to non-techno – and I’d probably take you (..if I didn’t take my mate Bron)

Let’s be perfectly honest – I fucking love all the humans from your region of the world. So, I’m sure we’d get along by default. I’m totally annoying, but I’m sure I can keep my shit together for a meal – your shout.

Love Lucy

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About LUCY

Femme of sass, sometimes.