ASK LUCY: I like a person because…Internet


Dear Lucy,
There’s a girl on the web who has a blog (just noticed after re-reading before I continue this point may be helpful right here). I am, yeah well, I don’t know if I am actually a fan of, but I like her sense of humour, which is kinda weird, so I like to hang around on her site and read posts.

Now the thing is, the girl who makes the blog is pretty too. So when I discovered it (the blog, not that I think the girl is pretty, albeit it may have been the other way around as I don’t remember if I saw a pic of her before surfing around in the blog), I went to some venues she said she would be, hoping to meet and address her.

Of course it didn’t work out, I didn’t see her and to be honest the stuff I went to was rather boring, either I had a bad match or the things this girl does are actually not as cool as they seem online. So now I thought, to find out, maybe I should just ask her out directly on the web, as there’s a contact address on the blog.

Is that sleazy stalking, or is this totally OK in the (hurray!) digital area ?

Thanks for your help !


Dear Bruno –

The Internet makes life so complicated. Yes – online check-in is great. Internet shopping is my preferred type of shopping. Price matching is awesome. But as far as communication goes – it makes life emotionally complex.

In recent years the guys with whom I have found I get most attached to, are those where the relationship started and grew over written communication (text messages, facebook, twitter, whatsapp you get my drift). You meet people, you live in different cities and somehow it’s not difficult to see where it all goes/ entertain the idea because internet. But emotionally – it’s really complicated. People are often much funnier when they have time to formulate a response, they are much more intelligent when they aren’t just put on the spot by real life and are able to hide behind those three little dots on your iPhone – and once it’s realised this isn’t going to work, it’s more heartbreaking because everything was wonderful (synthetically) because (again).. Internet.

Probably your funny and pretty blogger femme isn’t so interesting, no offense to her – but generally people are pretty dull; and you have to remember this person only shares the parts of their life which are cool… If you wrote down the cool things you did each week, in a fun/ interesting way – probably you would appear just as exotic. Following bloggers is a bit like reality television, it’s amazing because you get this insane voyeuristic experience into a life that you don’t have, won’t have, don’t want to have. But it unfortunately doesn’t make them interesting – it just means they choose good filters on instagram, write clever copy and share the fun stuff.

The question being should you contact her.. If it were me – no. Meanwhile – are you talking about me or Bron?.. This is super cool if you are but don’t. Yeah – this is the least fun thing I have ever said and goes entirely against my ethos of just having a go. However just because you feel like you know this blogger person, doesn’t mean they know you. So writing to them “Hey, I like your blog wanna grab a drink?” This isn’t fair. They don’t have any way to figure if they think a drink is a good idea, if you will get along, if it’s a complete waste of everyone’s time.

I don’t like to tell people no/ negatives and not be able to offer a solution because actually life is one big negotiation – so.. really, you want to go on a date with the blogging person, you have to find yourself in their orbit. The internet is emotionally complicated – but it makes things (like communication) functionally easier. Probably your blogger mate uses twitter, facebook, instagram – be active. Get to know one another, and maybe there will be a time when everyone is friendly enough that a drink is not entirely out of the question. Cold turkey asking out a person you think you know because of the Internet is not going to work out for you – I’m sorry.

Love Lucy


About LUCY

Femme of sass, sometimes.