ASK LUCY: I give too many shits about everything else – but me.

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Ask Lucy ! Hej Lucy,
I could do with some pointers. To be blunt – I’d like to give less of a fuck in most aspects of life, which sounds kind of reckless and ‘to hell with the world’, but I’m not like that at all. I’m just too far in the other direction. People’s feelings – really concern me. Potential consequences of actions – I over-think them. It’s making me stressed.

I’d like to chill the fuck out and roll with the punches a little more than I currently do (without becoming an asshole along the way). Am I rambling? I hope this makes sense? Oh wait. Hilfe?

Cheers,

Too Many Fucks Given

Hey mate!

Giving too many fucks is a real problem. It’s not that you should live your life with reckless abandon to other peoples feelings – but to be honest, this life is your story – so letting other people’s realities really affect you, is not what is up.

I think it’s pretty hard to switch this one off if you are a caring individual but you need to try, otherwise you will just get sick about how your actions are playing in other peoples lives. To an extent you need to think about this – but the greater portion is that this is the you show, much like my life is the me show – and I care about other people – but at the end of it all I will always come first.

Here are some things that play in my mind when I feel like that maybe I’m giving too many fucks and need reel that back in.

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO? This is a basic principle. Do you really want to do what you are doing? Do you have something else that you could do that is going to improve your life greatly? Often I find myself saying yes to people for events – and then my life admin gets out of control. It’s at these points that I think about me. My life admin stresses me out, I prioritize me and my shitty admin.

If it’s a scenario that X cool person invites you to something and then Y cooler person invites you to something on the same night – you committed to person X, you’re being a dick by asking yourself the “do you really want to” question.

BE HONEST – I find that people are wrapped in cotton wool these days. Why are you all so sensitive – shit is not that personal. Stop caring about what I think, do your own thing, and let me do mine. If someone asks you to hang out, celebrate their birthday, team up on a project – and you don’t want to. Simply say “no thank you.”

It’s the moment you fluff about the issue, and try to kindly let people down – by not actually communicating anything – that you dig yourself big emotionally stressful holes. You get peoples expectations up, only to have to let them down later on. Just say NO from the beginning, without loaded words, or emotional nonsense…. No really isn’t a bad word, it’s only when you lace it with nonsense buffer text that it gets weird.

REMEMBER: YOU ARE THE BOSS – This needs like zero explanation. You control your life – not others. I mean – if you find yourself in a situation where the people around you are the boss of your reality – you need to get rid of them. This isn’t healthy – this is domineering. And unless you are into S&M/ leather/ who’s your daddy type role play – this is not what is up. The people you surround yourself with should let you grow and flourish and all those other adjectives that relate to plant life. They shouldn’t be dictating your existence, and you shouldn’t feel like you HAVE to do anything for them.

The bottom line is – if the people that you surround yourself with can’t understand that you too have a bigger picture – they aren’t people you should hang around with.

Hope this helps?

Love Lucy

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About LUCY

Femme of sass, sometimes.